I don't know why I want to select this topic for writing something. I think maybe I have a direct feeling of fear, such like fear over my superior in my group, fear over the biggest boss in my company.

I don't know whether that's proper to describe my unpleasant emotion of the workplace using this word--fear.

Actually, from my situation, when I'm working, I avoid to have any argument with my colleagues. I try my best to maintain a good personality, appearing that I'm friendly, a man who you can have a easily pleasant talk with him.

But it's horrible. First, that's not a true I, it's just a worker who wear masks, just to maintain a good impression. Maybe at someday I will be tired. You know that actually have happened once. I left the last company for some similar reasons like this. I'm tired of the relationship with some of my colleagues, of course, and my direct superior.

The second reason is more important. Because the situation will not be changed for me. I need to explore something deeply until I find the core of myself. If I can not reach that, the similar situation will happen once and once again. That will be a terrible infinite loop. In a simple word, if I leave current company, just because I feel uncomfortable. And I join in another company, the new situation will start again.

The following is some facts I learned recently. First and foremost, my colleagues are just some normal people I need to work with them currently. We are not friends, it's just I treat them as friend. So with that in mind, if I fall in some unpleasant situation, I need to argue with them. I know it's difficult.